1) Watch a bloody, violent film with zombies ripping people’s eyes out with their teeth. Or maybe a World War II film or one of David Fincher’s old gory movies. Emerge a harder, stronger person with a newfound perspective on humanity. That’ll remove all squishy, sensitive feelings.
2) Watch a documentary about pressing social issues or read the news. Realize that being single is a shitty-ass problem compared to other things going on in the world.
3) Buy flowers for the important people in your life. Who says Valentine’s day is only for romantic love?
4) Write angsty poetry. Make fun of it later.
5) Wear your best and sexiest (but still classy) outfit when you leave the house. Dry your bitter tears and put on some light, fresh make-up. THEN GO FOR THE KILL
6) Resist urge to put poetry by Pablo Neruda in your Facebook. But don’t put Nietzsche quotes, that’ll just make you look like a bitter asshole.
7) Have dinner in a new restaurant with your best single friends. Talk about things other than being single–career, dreams, that new book you’ve been reading.
8) Be a productive citizen. Instead of moping around you can draw on a card and send it to your friends, write a new chapter in that book you’ve been working on, or get alarmingly drunk/high. Your call.
8) For those whose hearts just got broken, release all pent-up anger and hurt by going to the gym or playing a sweaty, competitive sport. Feel free to obliterate the competition.
9) Look up a recipe you’ve been wanting to try out on the internet. Cook a nice, delicious meal for you and your family.
10) Create a happy, upbeat and uplifting music playlist for the day. Put a bit of cheerful Bjork, Sweet Soul Revue, lyric-less dance music, Blur’s Parklife, and the soundtrack to Disney’s Mulan.
Avoid music by Celine Dion, The Carpenters, Aqualung, Adele, No Doubt, and *insert ballad-loving emo band that’s heavy on the piano* like the plague.
11) Clean your room.
12) Sign out of Facebook for the day to avoid all the other bitter assholes posting “ugh I am single woe is me” status updates, plus those annoying couples who like to post pictures of their date and rub it in other people’s faces.
How can Wenn Deramas Sleep at Night Knowing He Has Made Another Craptastic Movie?
Oh wait, most likely he sleeps like an infant; he probably has a soft four-poster bed and nice, big pillows. OK MOVING ON:
WHY MAINSTREAM FILIPINO CINEMA CURRENTLY SUCKS BALLS:
1) Most of the blame lies on the producers. Remember when GMA Films churned out award-winning movies like Jose Rizal and Muro-Ami? Remember when Star Cinema produced legendary movies like Magic Temple and Sana Maulit Muli (yes SMM is legendary, haters can go jump off cliffs). Now they just produce romantic comedy and fantasy rip-offs for MMFF. MMFF used to be a time where one could anticipate quality Filipino movies. Now we have an actual Senator who makes out with a co-star 2341515 years his junior and tries to defeat 3D while hiding a pot belly. Ok.
Producers don’t give a flying fuck about putting out quality movies. They just want money, so they force love teams down our throats, even when they have zero chemistry. They think that a quality movie = no profit. Which is the dumbest thing ever, because topnotch, low-budget movies like Maximo Oliveros, Zombadings and Ang Babae sa Septic Tank all surpassed expectations and were certified box office hits–even if they weren’t backed by big budget producers. Only when they started becoming popular through word-of-mouth did the bigtime studios start distributing their work.
Damnit, can someone hire these indie filmmakers? Anybody? Think of what they can do with a decent budget!
2) So-called Directors like Wenn Deramas, Ruel S. Bayani, Joel Lamangan, and Carlo J. Caparas etc. exist.
Usually an amazing director has a certain distinct directorial style. It could be on how they shoot scenes from certain angles, how they focus the lens, or how they manipulate the camera. We don’t have that with these “directors”. I suspect they just sit at the back, yell “CUT! ACTION!” after a scene, and eat copious amounts of potato chips.
Excellent direction is one of the essential components of a good movie. Under a directors’ tutelage, actors from humble beginnings can really learn their roles and perform to the fullest. Actors are challenged to transform and lose themselves in their characters.
My theory is that actors do the “bitch, please” card and are untouchable (and protected by their agents) so directors are actually afraid of them. It used to be the other way around-the director would become God during the production process, and everybody feared and respected him or her.
Well if you have someone like Carlo J. Caparas as your director I’d understand why you wouldn’t feel any respect…
(random: While researching for directors it was really interesting how we have many good female directors as well. Although some have unfortunately followed the rip-off romantic comedy route, they have at least one or two notable movies that have some redeeming qualities. That’s one thing we have over Hollywood–the West has yet to really employ a female director, while we are way ahead of them in providing gender equality in the business.)
3) We like love teams.
We really like them. In fact, even when we don’t like them they make it look like they’re in love in real life and that we should take them as an actual, likeable couple completely devoted to each other.
Publicity stunts abound.
4) Mainstream actors no longer love or want to hone their craft. Or they don’t give a shit about the acting process in the first place.
Evidence from past films prove that certain film stars can give nuanced performances–with the guidance of a stellar script and an excellent director. I remember shivering during Philip Salvador’s intensely quiet scenes in Oropronobis, being in awe of a young Christopher de Leon in Tinimbang Ka Ngunit Kulang, and becoming a Vilmanian overnight with her brash, yet sensitive portrayal of a mother in Bata, Bata, Paano Ka Ginawa.
Nowadays, these award-winning movie stars use histrionics to get their point across (a deplorable acting technique deftly parodied by Eugene Domingo in Ang Babae sa Septic Tank). They shout, they scream, they stress every word or syllable, spittle flying from their mouths. They confront other characters without even blinking, delivering their lines with exaggerated emphasis. It’s all fake emotion, times ten.
Unfortunately, the next batch of rising stars follow this trend. Now we have spit flying everywhere, the same old rich/poor dynamics, the same unimaginative cinematography (or lack thereof), the same melodramatic music while crocodile tears fall on one cheek, the same hair-ripping (literally) bitchfights.
Okay, give me one new actor that you really think can act. No, not an Indie actor. A mainstream one.
Can’t think of one? Of course, because THERE ISN’T A PROMISING NEW ACTOR. PERIOD.
Anyone else who thinks John Lloyd Cruz can really act is deluding themselves with uncontrollable maternal instincts.
Okay, let’s assume that these untalented dickwads can actually act. That they’ve been to some thirty minute acting sessions involving lying on the floor and having breathing exercises. Let’s give them the benefit of the doubt, alright? Well, they won’t reach their true acting potential anyway, because of mediocre scripts and direction.
Everything is interconnected.
5)Once-Great actors suddenly had selective amnesia
Sometimes I look at Christopher De Leon and think “Why? have you forgotten all you’ve learned? Don’t you remember your past movies AT ALL?” All these actors starred in movies with pressing, socially-relevant themes. Now they’re as traditional and stunted as ever. What happened? Did they learn nothing from their experiences? Why are they now starring in shitty-ass movies?
We all know why. *sings* It’s all about the money, it’s all about the dumdumdadadadumdum* At least we have actors like Pen Medina and Joel Torre who insist on having quality roles.
6) We have no audition process
In other countries, actors lobby for a role. The directors, producers or even screen writers make a list of actors they think would be suitable for certain roles, then they send a sample script to their agents. If they are interested, they come over and have a reading session.
Even respectable, award-winning hollywood bigweights audition for a role. There are some rare occasions in which they don’t have to or are handpicked by a director, but most of the time they at least have a reading with other fellow actors.
AUDITIONS ARE IMPORTANT because a director/writer can find the PERFECT actor out of a slew of hopefuls for a certain role. You are sure that your story will be delivered perfectly. You can trust the hired actor to give your character justice.
Because we don’t have an audition, directors/writers accept actors pushed by producers (because they want to make them the next big thing) or hire those that already had a similar role in the past. Unfortunately, the latter leads to typecasting, which makes up 100% of careers today. This is why Christopher De Leon is always the furious dad, John Lloyd Cruz is a rich, nice boss of some company who speaks a bit of Taglish during board meetings, and Cherry Gil is just some angry, fabulous bitch.
And I’m not just talking about auditions for roles. I’m also talking about auditions for being an actress for a Studio. Let’s look at Star Magic. Then let’s look at the results. Can these people act? Maybe. But there’s no proof, so far. Are they beautiful and sexy. Yes.
There you go.
7) Underpaid, Haggard Film Crew
Based on various sources who shall not be named, a Filipino film cannot be made to its fullest potential because of time and budget constraints. Which is why for a 3D fantasy film, after shooting the director/producer goes to their 3D crew and says “okay guys, get all the dragons done in a three weeks.” For you to churn out a decent 3D movie, you need months of preparation, even a year. Not to mention that in Hollywood, the movie crew already have all the technology they need but producers still allow their team longer preparation time.
Here the animation/special effects crew only have shitty machinery to deal with, a deadly deadline. That’s too much stress to handle. How can you expect them to churn out masterpieces?
I am 100% sure that every film crew is composed of extremely talented individuals. But their potential is hampered by these ridiculously impossible deadlines. All the budget goes to the undeserving people who call themselves actors but who are also Senators in another life…
This also applies to screenwriters. From sources who shall not be named, some screenwriters are actually PALANCA-award nominees who really want to put out a good film. Unfortunately, the original script gets hacked to bits and what’s left of a groundbreaking, gripping and dysfunctional family drama is now just another movie about fighting siblings.
8) They constantly insist that ‘weight’ in a movie will not be appreciated by the ‘masa’.
Basically, the media is saying that we are all dumb and because we’re so dumb, we like brain farts for our movies.
Movies can be entertaining, but they also serve multiple purposes–and one such purpose is to educate, or shed light into certain themes. Even an action film or romantic comedy, despite the biases against these genres by snobby critics, can enlighten a viewer about the human condition (without having to slap a saccharine “moral value” at their faces.)
How does it feel knowing that everytime you watch a movie the actors in it are thinking “this is how I should act, because this is all the dumb viewers can take”. The subliminal message of a generic mainstream Filipino movie is that we are mediocre, therefore we deserve mediocrity.
They’re insulting us right at our faces. What’s worse, we even pay for it.
So now the movie producers, cast and directors laugh all the way to the bank. We leave the theatres, once again being witness to a shitfest, and we desperately think that it was worth our time and money because we don’t want to face the fact that we’ve been duped once again.
***
There are a lot more reasons why our entertainment industry is turning stale. There are less cruder explanations (with fewer expletives). But fuck it, I have many feelings about Filipino cinema, okay? It’s just that when I watch a Mike De Leon film and how good it is I feel like hitting somebody.
I’d like to think that there will be another Golden Age of Philippine Cinema. When indie movies came rolling in, I was so hopeful. But indie movies remain independent (some of them even dipping in quality) and continue to have meager budgets. There are some noteworthy attempts at better films under the big studios (like Kimmydora), but whenever MMFF comes all my hopes are shot to hell.
Actors, during press junkets, implore Filipino audiences to support the Philippine Film Industry by watching their shitty film. Well, they don’t even support themselves.
I can only see one solution.
Kill them all.
I kid, I kid. Well, we can start by holding auditions and re-educating the entertainment industry by showing them the classics and making it mandatory. I want them to feel like shit afterwards, and have nightmares for weeks because of their remorse. But I’m feeling rather bloodthirsty at the moment.
On the American Remake: Just Stop
Here is a compelling excerpt from McBride’s well-crafted essay:
“America is a super power not because we make the biggest guns. We’re a
superpower because our culture has saturated the planet: Levis, Apple,
Nike, Disney, Coke, Pepsi, McDonald’s, Jazz, Rhythm n Blues, Rock ‘n Roll, and
Hip Hop. Our culture dominates the world far more than any nuclear bomb can.
When you can make a person think a certain way, you don’t have to bomb them. Just give them some credit cards, a wide screen 3D TV, some potato chips, and watch what happens. This kind of cultural war, a war of propaganda and words, elements that both Hollywood and Washington know a lot about, makes America powerful beyond measure.
But this kind of cultural war puts minority storytellers – Blacks, Asians, Latinos and people of color – at a distinct disadvantage. “
While McBride is talking about the subject of deep-seated racism in the Hollywood industry, specifically of Blacks being forever portrayed and cast in stereotypical roles, this powerful statement can also be connected to the phenomenon that is the American remake.
American Remakes have been done since the dawn of Hollywood. We’ve got amazing remakes such as The Magnificent Seven (from Kurosawa’s Seven Samurai), Insomnia (from the Norwegian movie), and 12 Monkeys (from the French). They all respected the original material and acknowledged the source of their inspiration.
There are also remakes of American films and icons–everybody knows the viral video of the Indian Spider-man, or many international versions of well-known romantic comedies. The initial purpose of a remake is that every story can be
universal–and deserves to be told to other audiences.
But right now, at this age of globalization, things are a little different. Nowadays it’s easier to access a foreign film through film festivals and
downloadable movies. Movies can be subtitled, or dubbed in the local language. There are almost no excuses—movies are now very accessible. One might think that there is no need for a remake anymore–except, of course, if it is an inspired, fresh take on an existing story.This is why alternative universes in speculative fiction are interesting reads too.
However, while a story may have universal themes overall, there are still many specific voices than need to be heard, special experiences and cases around the world that may depict oft-ignored sentiments and situations. Which is why I enjoy film festivals that are for free—I love the UP Theatre because that’s where I discovered my love for foreign movies, old and new. People get to learn more about different cultures, learn to meet and fall in love with these new people.
*
Hollywood is too eager to make a movie that appeals to American audiences—ultimately forgetting that a truly powerful movie can inspire or introduce new concepts. People nowadays complain that nothing is surprising anymore, everything is typical—but perhaps what audiences need are distinct and different flavors.
Is it THAT hard to try something new?
I am not opposed to Hollywood remakes on principle. But let’s face it, there have been a lot of remakes with disappointing quality (lol Tekken), and as a big fan of the original stories you can’t help but feel like you’ve been betrayed.
The general quality of the Hollywood remake is this:
1) It screams “we have a better budget, eat this” with random, unnecessary special effects (Dragonball)
2) It completely misses the tiny cultural nuances that made the original great (All those Asian horror remakes)
3) It whitewashes distinctly foreign characters (The Last Airbender anyone)
4) SEX SEX SEX MORE SEX SEX SEX (The Departed)
5) Explosions and guns and ubiquitous violence (The Departed can suck my dick for all I know)
My favourite travesty and example is Martin Scorsese’s The Departed. I can’t even fathom why THIS won Best Picture. Sure, Scorsese deserves an Oscar, 2314215 years ago. But not for this dumb movie, which is easily his worst picture.
The Departed is a remake of the Hong Kong film “Infernal Affairs”. Andy Lau’s character is a member of a criminal group that pretends to be a police officer to act as a mole for the crime syndicate. Meanwhile Tony Leung’s character is a policeman who poses as a new member of the crime syndicate, trying to finally find an opening to arrest the gang.
Unfortunately, as the years progress they find themselves being completely immersed in their fake roles, to the point that they forget their original purpose. Andy Lau’s character enjoys the freedom and integrity that a cop has, and clearly loves his double life, but guilt conflicts with his original intention for crime. Meanwhile, Tony Leung’s character slowly wastes away in depression, wondering if he still is a cop even though he is forced to participate in criminal activities—his morals are in jeopardy, and he is losing sight of the good in himself.
In Infernal Affairs both men are portrayed as equals and we are sympathetic to their plight. They are both in distressing situations, leading a false life. They each have their own experiences, friends, lovers. But somehow, when they finally meet do they realize that they have a strong affinity—that their lives mirror the other, and they can either put a stop to it, or go on as they are.
Scorsese’s The Departed involves a lot of gunfights, cussing (care of Marky Mark) and sex. Andy Lau’s character is portrayed by Matt Damon, and Tony Leung’s is by Leo DiCaprio.
Things that fucking pissed me off:
1) As an added ~twist~ both men fall in love with the same girl. The girl cheats on Matt Damon for Leo Di Caprio, but it is legitimized by the fact that Matt lied to her anyway. Ok.
2) Unnecessary sex scenes everywhere
3) GONE is the conflict within Matt Damon’s character. He is portrayed as an absolute prick who takes advantage of his double life and doesn’t give a shit. In Infernal Affairs, Andy Lau respects Tony Leung, and pays homage to him. Matt Damon is just some dumb asshole.
4) The audience sympathizes only with Leo DiCaprio. Because he’s the only one with ~conflict~
5) That dumb ending
6) They focused on the ~RIVALRY~ between Leo and Matt, even throwing a girl in the mix. Wtf totally missing the point.
Lol at the Oscars the announcer mistakenly said that “Infernal Affairs is a remake of a JAPANESE movie” I mean even the motherfucking Oscars can’t get their goddamn facts straight, when Infernal Affairs was such a huge hit in Asia!
I’m just tired of Hollywood remaking everything in sight. (lol if CBS Sherlock
pushes through, then this is the SECOND time Martin Freeman’s show gets an
American remake. Think The Office). Especially with foreign films and tv
shows. Instead of showing them to American audiences thus allowing them to
appreciate the best of foreign material, these companies make it their own and
Americanize it. It was okay at first, and there are some legit good stuff, but
they just KEEP DOING IT. I’ve seen what they did to Infernal Affairs and a lot
of Asian and European films–hell, even the Philippines’ own horror movies.
This is simply Hollywood’s way of asserting global dominance in film and television. The foreign original will fade into obscurity, and everyone will know and
acknowledge only the Hollywood version.
Happens every single time, and I’m
just damn sick of it.
I’m in no way saying that there shouldn’t be remakes at all. I personally think that fresh takes on old stories renew interest and drive attention to the original. The new Pride and Prejudice movie made me watch Colin Firth’s version, and then read the books. BBC’s Sherlock and Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes made a lot of people read the books. It’s a really good strategy to pass great material to new generations.
And there are also special cases when the remakes are enhanced versions of the original—depending on your preference.
My issue is simply when Hollywood completely scraps the original and makes it into a “Wholly American Movie” (for their standards, at least). It’s when the spirit of the original is gone, and the new one posed as a completely new product, devoid of its prior themes. It’s when the original is not acknowledged at all. It’s when main characters of non-white ethnicity are always portrayed as white, because only white people can be the leads.
Remakes are a new mass media version of a cultural battleground–and we all know who always gets on top.
It’s quite a controversial issue, but what are your thoughts on remakes?
The Power is Yours! | The top cartoons of my childhood!
These things defined the cartoons of my childhood:
Explosions. Lots of them.
Magical,shiny rings.
Moral lessons.
Catchy Rock and Roll opening themes.
It amazes me that these cartoons were all hand-drawn, with none of the easy technology that defines our “flash” cartoons in Cartoon Network/Nickelodeon nowadays.
So now I present to you My Top American Cartoons, in no particular order. This is not a list of THE BEST OF THE BEST, take note. They are the shows I’ve loved personally and have very fond memories of. ♥
(Disclaimer: My memories can be screwed up, but I base it on good feelings *laughs* It’s like the X-files. As a kid I thought it was the scariest shit ever, and now I’m rewatching it and laughing at the lame special effects and gazing at Scully’s hot lips. Ehem.)
Click on the titles for links to the opening sequences:
EGON SPENGLER ♥♥♥ I just love him to bits, really, especially when he spouts random scientific things I never understood as a kid but what the hell, I just WANTED TO FUCK HIS BRAIN. I shipped Janine x Egon, too!
The thing about our favourite cartoons is that it must have a catchy song. And what song is more catchy than “Who ya gonna call? Ghostbusters!” Also, Marshmallow Man is adorable!
Captain Planet and the Planeteers
This cartoon is actually number one in my heart. It has A+ animation, lovable characters, and great environmental themes. I used to like Linka a lot because my name is sort-of Russian and I had a thing for her accent. Plus the fact that she’s brainy. I want to squish all Planeteers, anyway.
There was one episode in Captain Planet which did not involve Pollution as the main enemy but handled the AIDS-HIV issue. Captain Planet actually makes a speech promoting AIDS awareness and stands against bigotry. The basketball player inflicted with AIDS was portrayed by Neil Patrick Harris. Here’s the speech, if you’re interested.
Awww, come on. Who doesn’t love the “Heroes in a Half Shell”? We were obsessed to the point that we had TNMT blankets and pillows. I liked Raphael best because his weapon was the coolest (although in retrospect, he was also the most brooding a.k.a. emo, I guess). It amuses me that Master Splinter named the turtles after artists from the Renaissance whose actual personalities are so different from the turtles. For one thing, Michelangelo was originally a really crabby person. In the cartoon, Michelangelo is batshit insane and has contributed to worldwide obesity by coercing little children into eating millions of pizza.
I had a dream where the turtles were being taught about the High Renaissance by Master Splinter. And they were speaking Japanese. Go figure.
Hahahaha, Rapses, the little boy-in-distress. I loved the whole concept of this series, and their transformation sequences were pretty cool. I adored Nefer-Tina because loving kick-ass girls is the obvious choice for little girls who want awesome role models. Besides, she was smoking hot. Even if she’s technically dead. Which makes me a necrophiliac. Yay!
Princess Starla and the Jewel Riders
Once upon a time this was my all-time favourite show as a little girly-girl. I never skipped an episode — it was imperative that I watch all the costumes, hairstyles, ponies, magical powers, gemstones in all their sparkly glory.
Also, I think this show made me gay.
PRINCESS STARLA > SKYDANCERS, BITCHES
I was wrong. THIS IS THE SHOW THAT MADE ME GAY. I still memorize Adora’s opening speech before the cartoon begins, goddamnit. “Fabulous secrets were revealed to me…”
Did anyone notice how shapely She-Ra’s legs were? And that Bo was obviously a token gay subtext character? Anybody?
Starscream was the coolest thing, even if his voice was irritating. This was back in the time when we wanted to transform anything into well, anything. We imagined our cars could turn into huge-ass robots with guns and unlimited firepower. We wanted EXPLOSIONS, and Transformers had tons of them from all directions.
Who didn’t memorize Megatron’s favourite line: “You fail me yet again, Starscream.”? Transformers was the coolest of the cool, no doubt about that.
By the way, I totally picked that pic above for a reason. Optimus Prime on his knees. Because I’m a dirty bastard
Awwwww. Besides Scooby’s trademark voice, I loved Shaggy best even if he was the biggest coward to ever grace the TV screen. There’s something so funny about the way he walks. He’s so DOPE, man. Kinda reminds me of how current everyday hippies look like. Shaggy’s the type who’d chill at home, surf 4chan, and be a generally neurotic person. Also, he embodies everybody’s pot-smoking flatmate, which is a necessary element in college.
Velma is simply the cutest.
Thanks to them, I’ve found new alternatives for expletives: “JEEPERS!” “ZOINKS!”
First of all, the opening sequence is probably the best over all American cartoons to date. It’s iconic, stylish, and packs a great punch without explaining every detail.
What I love about Batman was that there was a general feeling of uneasiness in every episode. It’s not even that violent; sure, there were many explosions but the wounds were minimal compared to most anime. However, each episode always has a not-so-happy ending — it’s like something is lurking and you can’t explain how you feel after watching an episode. It always makes you think.
Batman Beyond has the second best opening theme. Also an excellent series. Kicked a lot of butt. I had the biggest crush on Terry McGinnis. :3:3:3
Spider-man: The Animated Series
Spider-man was a lot of fun. Kudos to the rock mixed with techno type of opening song, really cool. The animation was really good, too.
Everybody knows Spider-man is my favourite superhero, and this cartoon showed everything I liked about him. His powers are simple; his everyday moments are plain, but you end up really rooting for Peter Parker. In my case, Spider-man was just so damn funny. He’d make some random joke while fighting the villains or saving civilians, and it was just awesome. MJ was pretty cool here, too. she always is. *longtime PeterxMJ fan*
Aah, X-men. What can I say — Gambit and Rogue are my favourite characters, and they were brilliant characters in the cartoon. I used to like Jubilee a lot too (she was the youngest, so it was natural for me to side with her) but then I realized how useless she sort of was. *laughs* Even as a child I really hated Jean Grey’s guts, and would often complain whenever she hogged the spotlight (which always happened every fucking time, anyway).
X-men put many issues in the spotlight that wouldn’t normally be tackled in a cartoon — racism, war, and other issues concerning discrimination. And what the hell, there was a lot of sexual undertones in this cartoon. Wolverine had so many girlfriends, I lost count. The most wtf of all was when he was making out with Storm during a picnic (that weirded me out because their personalities don’t really click, in my opinion). Rogue was the epitome of sex. Mystique was practically flirting with everybody.
Not that I’m complaining.
Other cartoons that I liked watching as a kid but now I look back and remember them with horror, shame, and guilty pleasure:
Dinosaucers
Biker Mice from Mars
Bucky o’ Hare
Street Sharks
…and all other furry cartoons — DEAR GOD WE REALLY LIKED THOSE TALKING ANIMALS — plus other cartoons I can’t remember.
*
Now you may be thinking “Where the hell is Ninja Robots? VOLTRON? THE FLYING HOUSE?!” Well truth be told, I really wanted to include them. They’re originally Japanese, however, so they had to be excluded in the list. However, I may make another list especially for them, as well as the other epic cartoons and tv shows. Hopefully I’ll remember the older ones. :3
My biggest vice. | No place for rehab
I can be the biggest cheapskate. Some days I can window shop, pretending to be genuinely looking for something new to wear when I’m just waiting for someone. I can eat expensive food occasionally, but my guilty pleasures are cheap streetfood and other useless, cute things!
One thing’s for certain, however: once I enter a bookstore, I almost always come out with a new book tucked under my arm. I like books. I like seeing them in my bookshelf. I like having one in my bag. I like traveling with a book in hand. I like flipping the pages, using a special bookmark a close friend gave me to mark my last one. I even like how old books smell, even if they’re musty and filled with dust. Most important of all, I like reading them. I can even read trashy celebrity mags from cover to cover just for the hell of it. If it’s truly atrocious though (like Sophie’s World) I don’t bother finishing it, and I refer to the internet to spoil myself silly.
1. Judging a Book
I differ from the general public in one sense: I prefer paperbacks over hard covers. Why? It’s the simple answer of practicality. I like bringing my books around, so the smaller and more compact they are, the more I enjoy reading them. Hard covers are exasperatingly heavy, and it’s not very comfortable to read them while you’re lying down (which is what I usually do).
Yes, covers are sort of important, when it comes to purchasing books at least. Not as important as the content of course, but I like book cover designs that have iconic images and are like an old painting, sketch or photograph. Cover designs DO help book sales. Some people think it’s shallow; I don’t really agree. You could say book covers are art, and they are part of its charm. It’s like getting the whole package!
For example, if I were to pick a cover for Victor Hugo’s Les Miserables, I won’t pick this:
But rather this:
The first cover is blatant, rather boring: there is a revolution, there is killing and suffering; the flag of France is hoisted up so you get a clue which part of history this novel is based on. The second one however, shows a dirty, wretched little girl (Cosette), and the colors of the flag blend with her face and hair. There is pain and suffering. Everything is all there in her face. The original black and white piece by Emile Bayard is even more striking. It’s all about the subtle impact.
2. Stories of interest
Majority of my collection are science fiction and fantasy, but I enjoy a lot of other stories.
I enjoy well-written, interesting history books and essays. Not those that are just riddled with information that can easily be forgotten in three seconds. They have to be engaging. Especially stuff about art and literature back in the old days when people didn’t have Microsoft Word and Photoshop. Victorian literature is very fascinating! Never have I seen so much suspense and sexuality in a very suppressed era.
I like reading biographies of my favourite famous people, such as The Beatles and David Bowie. I also love reading about Rizal and all his contradictions.
Dystopian, allegorical, political books are very depressing indeed, but they tend to be my favourites. Short stories are short and sweet, and they’re best for relaxation. Speculative fiction and detective fiction are delicious genres that are hard to resist.
I like reading modern poetry, when they don’t refrain from using flowery objectives (exceptions of course are the old master poets). I adore Charles Bukowski and Louise Gluck; their poetry is honest, biting and unpretentious, and I like that.
Children’s stories make me smile, although they can also give you nightmares. I remember the first time I read A Christmas Carol and Through the Looking-Glass. Seriously, those scared the shit out of me. Oh, and Rumpelstiltskin.
Probably the only books I can’t bring myself to read are Vampire novels, Modern Chiclit, and Self-help books. The romanticism and excessive use of flowery language in vampire novels just don’t appeal to me (I did read two of Anne Rice’s early work, which I don’t even remember). Chiclit is too boring and predictable (I turn to fanfic to fufill my shallow desires for happy fun times). I don’t even bother with self-help books.
I read the bible occasionally because it’s just so darn morbid and fascinating.
3. I can read them over and over again and I’d still feel like I’ve been changed forever.
Les Miserables by Victor Hugo. An old favourite. I bawled throughout the entire reading, and literally felt physically exhausted afterwards. JEAN VALJEAN IS MY HERO!
1984 and Animal Farm by George Orwell. It disturbed me so much that I shiver just recalling what happened. No, they didn’t even have any graphic content. It was just the concept and how the story unravelled itself that made me feel sick.
Also, I love them to bits.
The Little Prince. You start with a light heart, then it ends with so much weight.
Sherlock Holmes. I referred to Victorian literature above, and mentioned suspense and sexuality. There you go.
The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula Le Guin. I was curious since it won the Nebula Award and it tackled themes about gender and alienation; I finished it and I was blown away. Seriously, wow.
Lord of the Rings, because it’s what made me love fantasy in the first place! And it has my favourite character ever, Samwise Gamgee. ♥ I’m also addicted to The Chronicles of Narnia by CS Lewis, A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle, and A Song of Ice and Fire series by George Martin.
Noli me Tangere and El Filibusterismo by Jose Rizal. I’m fucking serious.
4. Just Close It. Or Close Your Eyes
Sophie’s World. I can bash it to bits — I DON’T CARE. I am never trusting random people who recommend me books again. I feel like I’ve wasted two hours of my time.
Anne Rice’s Sleeping Beauty Series was really funny. What’s even funnier is that she’s religious now.
Dan Brown. What’s sad is I couldn’t stop reading his books even though my mind was screaming in horror. IT WAS TOTALLY NONCONSENSUAL, GUYS.
I won’t even bother bashing Twilight because there are far more eloquent essays about it, and I’m tired.
5. Right Now
I’m reading A Clash of Kings, which is the second book by George R.R. Martin in the A Song of Ice and Fire series. I’m almost done though, so I’ll be starting with a Storm of Swords soon. I also finished reading A Phantom Tollbooth, which was a lot of fun, and Revolution in the Head, a Beatles biography.
Time Traveling!
If you could go back in time, to any specific period and live during that point in history for a year, which era would you go to? You can’t die or get hurt, you are banned from changing history (like killing Hitler yourself), and you’ll immediately go back to your own time afterward.
I’m a big Sixties junkie. I know it’s romanticized in a lot in films and books but I can’t help but be drawn to the atmosphere of joy and urgency found during the sixties. There was this thirst for discovery, about trying new things, about being different and being heard. People were brimming with optimism in a time when wars were being waged in other countries–and they wanted them to stop. Of course by the time the seventies rolled along everyone was bitter and frustrated and hurt, but in the sixties people sang and danced for peace and they believed in it.
Yes, I’m talking about the folk/rock scene, the Civil Rights movement, the beginnings of the LGBT movement, Women’s liberation, Woodstock, and drugs. I’m talking about people going out of their houses and marching for their beliefs, playing music, shouting at the top of their voices. I’m talking about people who watched Stanley Kubrick’s films 2001: A Space Odyssey and Dr. Strangelove and going, ‘what the fuck is this shit’ but feeling amazed and moved and strangely disturbed by them. I’m talking about Pop and psychedelic art, among others; the birth of a new consciousness for artists. Sixties was all about the counterculture.
Another era I’d probably want to go back to is the Victorian Era in England. Yes, it seems romantic, everyone sounds posh and elegant, but I actually want to observe how despoiled and fake the everyday man and woman actually was back then. We’re talking about famines, cholera epidemics, and widespread child labour. The Church was challenged by Darwin’s On The Origin of Species. Jack the Ripper became infamous. Many forms of literature focused on the macabre, grotesque, and suspenseful. Developments in science fascinated the Victorian people, and they were slowly starting to realize its power. I’d like to pretend to be pleasantly surprised, myself. It would be interesting to experience the wonders of a new discovery again.
I’d also like to see the degree of sexual repression in Victorian society, and how they dealt with these burgeoning questions about sex. Did they resort to quick fixes in so-called gentleman’s clubs and random stables filled with hay? I’d be a such a fantastic voyeur. I’d write stuff about it in a tell-all memoir.
As for Philippine history, I’d like to check out how we fared before the Spaniards arrived to colonize us; back when we were flourishing (let me stress that) among different Sultanates, Tribes, Kingdoms and other “mini-countries”. I read that the trade was fabulous, and we were so fucking rich with gold and silk and various ingredients and spices, among others. Back when we kept them for the benefit of our own people.
I also want to be at the exact moment Magellan stepped foot on the shores of the Philippines. What did the katutubo think? Were they impressed by these pale-looking, emaciated foreigners (I think not)? And what did the Spaniards think of our ancestors as well?
Certain historical moments that I’d like to observe: Rizal in Dapitan, what really happened when Andres Bonifacio was executed, and how life was for Gregoria de Jesus.
Finally, I want to see what Manila looked like back in the 50s-70s. Based on all the old photos I’ve seen, Manila was one of the most beautiful cities in Asia. I wish I could see the Pasig River in its original splendour.
***
How about you? Where would you go? 
Cabin Fever and the Future Today
Immediately after my thesis got the huge thumbs-up from my thesis adviser and defense panel I went on to read Lord of the Flies and Brave New World, books that have been sitting around for several months because I was literally too busy to enjoy and absorb a good book.
Cabin Fever
I realized reading Lord of the Flies at around midnight was quite a mistake as I was really into the atmosphere of the story and ultimately felt scared, especially in the later chapters. The skull scene made me shiver. It’s quite a pessimistic view on human nature; that somehow we are inherently evil and prone to violence, given drastic circumstances–and that children’s “harmless” play reflect the patriarchal egotism and sadism that plagues adult men, especially in time of war.
It’s the scenario commonly posed in drinking games with friends: if you were in a deserted island with a certain number of people, what would you do in order to survive?
Familiarity breeds contempt. In this case, cabin fever is imminent. You’d be annoyed at the littlest things. You’d try to call a semblance of order, but in your head you create your own chaos. Interestingly, after finishing the book my sister and I watched Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining, another tale about being stuck with the same people in a limited area for a long period, and the subsequent descent to madness and paranoia. They both have so-called supernatural elements, but because of unreliable narrators you are not entirely sure if there are demons and ghosts, or if the characters have simply gone mad.
The Future Today
I realized that the books that really haunt me (and end up on my favourite rereading list) are those that are social allegories. So while reading Brave New World, comparisons with 1984 couldn’t be helped (in fact, even Huxley instigates the comparisons, and held correspondence with Orwell).
Huxley in Brave New World, Revisited says that if 1984 exhibits a Stalin-style totalitarian dictatorship in which society is controlled through fear and violence, then in his book society is pre-conditioned to accept their social and economic class, no matter how dehumanizing one’s situation truly is. Unrest is subdued through pleasant distractions: sex, drugs, and mass media.
In a sense Brave New World is an even more terrifying future/present, because we are no longer capable of distinguishing our own repression and slavery from freedom. Our minds are wired in such a way that we do not question the roles given to us by higher institutions; and even if we toil, and ultimately suffer in the unequal distribution of opportunities, we think that “this is what we’re supposed to do” or “that’s just the way things are”. One critic says that “Orwell feared that what we fear will ruin us. Huxley feared that our desire will ruin us.”
However, I found that 1984 is a more engaging, well-written book as compared to Brave New World. I felt more emotionally invested in Winston and Julia than Bernard Marx and the ‘Savage’, John (though I liked Helmholtz a lot). But perhaps this was also Huxley’s intention: in his detached manner of writing, he has also shown the scarily clinical and removed perspective of his characters regarding their own condition.
As for the debate in “which book is more prophetic” I would say that the world today is exhibiting both Orwellian and Brave New World-like symptoms. Totalitarian rule and repression is still found in many Middle Eastern countries and in North Korea, whereas the rest of the ‘democratized’ world is subconsciously manipulated by Big Businesses that capitalize on the concept of ‘individuality’ and ‘freedom’ so that we can watch the Libyan war on TV, react and offer our opinion, and go therapy shopping since we’re so stressed out, consuming to be happy but never becoming satisfied.
***
I think the reason why I’m so obsessed with dystopian novels and movies and films about zombie apocalypses and alien invasions and future dictatorships is NOT because of the thrill, the zombie head-bashing, the violence, the weapons, etc. I like watching/reading these things because I am very curious about the human condition: what lengths people are willing to take during such scary situations; how their morals and preconceived notions are challenged and ultimately destroyed; how they try to hold on to their last shred of humanity while everyone and everything else is in disarray.
While some people are reveling in the blood and gore and explosions (I actually find zombies icky and scary, so I don’t focus on them that much), I’m thinking about why they had to kill, and why they were able to kill, in the first place. I wonder why they push so hard to survive. I wonder if love is a strength or a burden, in the face of madness.
***
Here’s a conversation I had with my Mum a few months back, while I was accompanying her with errands:
Me: *reads* *reads* *reads*
Mum: It’s good that you have time to read and relax now. What is that book all about?
Me: It’s about a dystopian future wherein men and women are manipulated by the governmnent.
Mum: Why are you reading that? You should relax!
Me: …But I am relaxing!
Mum: …
Me: …I’m a nerd.
So, bakla pala ang kumpare mo? | Overheard on the jeepney
It was another weekday morning with the usual heavy, unmoving traffic on Ortigas Ave. I was heading to another work assignment so I was reviewing my interview questions by flipping through my notebook. A young nursing student and her boyfriend were talking rather animatedly right next to me about random things like work, shopping, and friends. Then suddenly the subject got interesting:
Nursing student: So, bakla pala yung kumpare mo?
Guy: Oo nga. Hindi nga halata eh. Nagulat kaming lahat.
Nursing student: Weh. Seryoso?
Guy: Oo nga bakla nga daw siya! Siya mismo nagsabi nga! Ba’t ayaw mo maniwala?
Nursing student: Ano ba yan. Paano mo ba nalaman?
Guy: Sinabi na lang niya. E di ko naman alam. Classmates kami nung gradeschool pa, halos magkapitbahay kami pero di ko talaga nahalata e.
Nursing Student: Oo nga, di ba close kayo? Ano ba yan. (she keeps repeating this)
Guy: E di ba nagkita na kayo ng kumpare ko?
Nursing student: Oo.
Guy: Kita mo naman hindi siya baklang-bakla, di ba?
Nursing student: Lalaking-lalaki kung umasta nga eh. Baka naman hindi talaga siya bakla.
Guy: Bakla nga siya, nameet ko nga boyfriend niya eh!
Nursing student: Weh may boyfriend siya? Ano yun, matandang bakla naman?
Guy: Hindi. Lalaki rin kung umasta, lalaki rin manamit.
Nursing student: Ano ba yan.
Guy: Hindi nga, maniwala ka nga. Nagulat ako, pero ang lakas nga ng loob niya eh. Pinakilala pa niya yung boyfriend niya sa akin. Mukhang okay naman. Matagal na daw sila magsyota.
Nursing student: E ano naman reaction mo?
Guy: Wala lang. E kababata ko yun e. Kaysa naman magreact ako di ba? Kumain na lang kami sa labas.
Nursing student: Kasama yung boyfriend niya?
Guy: Siyempre.
Nursing student: Ano ba yan. Kadiri.
Guy: Bakit naman?
Nursing student: Dapat kasi ang lalaki sa babae, babae sa lalaki. Yung natural lang. Sayang kasi e.
Guy: …Ok naman sila ah.
*
I wanted to shake the guy’s hand and smack the woman in the face but I didn’t want to be too obvious about eavesdropping. They went down abruptly after that conversation, but it was quite memorable.
The BIG Beatles Post
Dedicated to John Lennon for his 29th Death Anniversary (Dec 8, 1980). Love and peace, Johnny. We miss you.
So you’ve heard everything about the Beatles. They’re the best. They top the charts every single time. They’re also overrated, overplayed, overexposed, and over-analyzed to death. Yet when you hear a Beatles’ song on the radio your first thought would be “Hey, I know this song.” You may not know the title, or that they made it, but you KNOW it. It’s like before we were even born we were destined to be able to recognize Beatles songs from out of asses, out of our guts. Out of nowhere. Jessica Zafra said that Beatles songs are ingrained in our brains even before we leave the womb.
Everyone has a favourite Beatles song. Everyone has a favourite Beatle. Most people say your favourite Beatle reflects your own personality, but that’s mostly based on generalization (which was helpfully seared in our consciousness by the movie A Hard Day’s Night). Here are some:
John Lennon – The Leader. Artistic, aggressive, outspoken, misunderstood, a genius
Part of the truth: Well, yeah. He was also self-righteous, self-absorbed (or selfandYoko-absorbed), composed the most biting and hurtful song in the history of mankind “How Do You Sleep?”, and was a walking contradiction, left and right. He also had a history of beating his girlfriends (if Cynthia is to believed, and based on their song It’s Getting Better, I do). If there’s one thing I credit to Yoko, it’s for making John respect women. So much so, it’s a 360 degree turn in his solo career (‘Woman‘ comes to mind).
Paul McCartney – The Cute Beatle. Sentimental (sometimes TOO much), melodramatic, romantic, nostalgic, warm, friendly, the PR guy
Part of the truth: Well, yeah. He was also a control-freak and a bit of an egomaniac at times (though he really thought he was doing what was good for the band at that time). In actuality, Paul is probably the most misunderstood Beatle. He also wrote “Helter Skelter” and “Back in the USSR”. Sentimental my ass.
George Harrison – The Quiet Beatle. Wise, sensitive, thoughtful
Part of the truth: Well, yeah. I would actually say he was more “spiritual” than sensitive, and in a lot of interviews he actually talks the most. Also, he had that epic dickery moment in Let it Be and in I Me Mine when he left out John in his memoirs. I’m not sure if he’s shy, he’s pretty outspoken in interviews and he’s had his own acting gigs in Monty Python movies.
Ringo Starr – The Funny Beatle. Sad, even pathetic, butt of all jokes, all-around chill dude
Part of the truth: I believe that Ringo during the Beatles period was actually the “heart” of the Beatles. And while he is mostly seen as the less talented, he still kept each member from clawing each other’s eyes out, and they never had any serious quarrel with him. Also, HIS DRUNKEN ACTING SKILLS.
SO WHY AM I IN LOVE WITH A BUNCH OF DOUCHEBAGS?
What’s so great about loving the Beatles is that they are human. They’re not rock gods. They were jerks, assholes, at some point they were a bunch of chauvinist pigs, but they changed and transformed and they were all wonderful and beautiful and talented. The best thing is that WE CAN ALWAYS RELATE TO THEM.
What’s painful about loving the Beatles is that they are SO human, it defeats the fantasy, especially with the way the media talks about them and the countless over-the-top praises from fanboys and fangirls. John was an asshole (especially to women, though Yoko changed him somehow), Paul was too pushy, George simply didn’t give a shit in the long run, while Ringo was caught in the crossfire, fed up with his bandmate’s enormous egos. There was a lot of bitching and moaning, and somewhere inbetween they would still hang out and make music, which was just plain weird.
And after John was murdered there was this lingering sadness and doubt whether or not he truly loved being a Beatle (a fear publicly shared by Paul)…however it was put to rest by interviews from Yoko and the rest of the Beatles themselves. Several years later George succumbed to cancer, and there were only two left and many people grieved because somehow not only the music was important to the public, but the BEATLES, each and every one of them.
It was THEM — their fantastic music, their ground-breaking films, all of their contributions. Everything.
In Abbey Road Paul sang, “Oh, you’re gonna carry that weight for a long time.” And he knew — they all knew — that he was right. And yet it is a strange sort of weight — it is heavy with regret and loss, but also heavy with the memories of Beatlemania and The Cavern, casual sessions in Paul’s house, enlightening trips to India, the craziness of touring the world (and being hated in the Philippines), the joy of performance in both stage and studio. (Oh damn, I cry everytime I remember their break-up…)
Some people say it’s a bittersweet end. I disagree. As long as some crazy, scary, yet familiar force continues to give generations upon generations the ability to relate, to feel — and their songs no doubt are known by almost everyone — then there is no end.
***
Q: So who is your favourite Beatle?
A: I want to be serious BFFs with Ringo, ask George to teach me how to play all sorts of instruments, ask Paul to make music for me and give me my own private concert, and go on a week-long holiday with John around Europe and Asia.
***
* What I also love about the Beatles is that they were the biggest camwhores. In animal costumes, drag, dorky swimwear, tights, kinky costumes, bath towels, you name it. Here are some of my favourite WTF WHAT IS THIS Beatles’ pics, like this gem:
P-PAUL.
They’re not afraid to show some legs!
They support bondage!
They appreciate theatre! (George looks too thrilled for a man in a dress being ravished by a John with a pornstache)
They support the swapping of gender roles!
They post close-up dramatic photos of their partnership for INSPIRATION!
They love baby animals!
They have pillow fights during sleepovers!
They’re not afraid to show what their mama gave them!
They groped, and was groped, by Andy Warhol!
They approve of fanservice!
They…god Paul is too fucking pretty in that coat.
John is really looking intently at Paul’s slice of cake… George is bitchin’ with a knife, and awww Ringo!
THINGS THAT JUST DON’T MAKE SENSE ANYMORE:
…I DON’T KNOW
Mmmm.
RINGO FOR GOD’S SAKE PUT ON SOME PANTS! Not that I’m complaining, I’m just a bit concerned, you know?
PAUL. PAUL. Back in the time when there was no icanhazcheezburger, no 4chan, no internet. H-HOW
…The interesting thing about this photo is that I can never find out what context this is in.
Meow, bitches
Every Sperm is Sacred…in the Philippines
One of my fondest memories of studying in an all-girl’s Catholic school was the special topic on Sex. Our Health teacher, with all seriousness, told us:
“Masturbation is a mortal sin. As long as you have impure thoughts, you are already committing a sin.”
Recently, the Philippine government has revived the Reproductive Health and Population Development Act of 2008, and of course, in a predominantly Roman Catholic country, it is now sparking controversy. The bill promotes correct Sex Education, access to modern family planning, focus on women’s rights, information about HIV/AIDs viruses, prevention of abortion, etc. Like what every other country has been doing.
According to the Church (which targets all its attention on the “access to modern family planning” portion), this act is equal to murder; instead it PROMOTES abortion, pre-marital sex, and other dastardly deeds. Their argument is that if we are allowed to use preventive measures for birth, we will use it liberally and therefore have sex anytime we wish, WITH anyone, and it’ll be like the next rising of Sodom and Gomorrah where every person, in feverish excitement over the freedom to use condoms and birth pills, will immediately rut and fornicate with reckless abandon.
WE ARE ALL HAVING SEX ANYWAY. The Philippines is a small country with over 90 MILLION people, and this doesn’t include the uncounted little children running around the streets and those hiding in foreign nations.92% of pregnancies are unintended. Poor families having 10 or more children is a fact of life. And, in destitute mothers’ desperate attempts to stop giving birth, resort to crude means of abortion anyway — they buy those strange, unhealthy quack medicine from Quiapo, or go to an unprofessional abortionist in some hidden, dirty area of the slums. Will you blame these people when they can’t feed their fifteen children? One solution of the Catholic Church is the Rhythm Method. They assume that we are idiots. We all know that it DOESN’T WORK. They expect us to have sex at particular days of the month; NO ONE likes having schedules. Either that or we can just all be priests and nuns and stop having sex. Er, good luck.
The air is changing. Filipinos are realizing that these times, we can’t afford to be blind anymore. More and more politicians are backing the Reproductive Bill. Others, the cowards, side with the Church, knowing that the Church has a big audience. These cowards are the same cowards who go to church diligently every Sunday, in their luxury cars, while keeping at least three or more mistresses at the side.
In a country that prides itself to be forward, we are still stuck in the Medieval Ages. The government, which is supposed to be separate from the influence of the church, still cowers on its knees when the Catholic Bishops order them to do something. Abortion is illegal, but it happens almost everyday in the poorest places. We are at the Top Ten in the world for Gender Equality, but in this issue the authorities refuse to acknowledge that a woman’s body is her own, and that she has to right to protect it. There’s a solution to ridding abortions, and that is prevention. Most countries of the world get it. We’re getting it too, but our so-called “superiors” don’t.
It’s time to teach them a lesson.
